it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
