god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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