I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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