My hand turned me down
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
