And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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