Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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