I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
