I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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