i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize