Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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