One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize