there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
