Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
