You really coming over, don't trick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
