We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
