Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
