I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
