Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
