she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
