Do you still have your period?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
