I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
