Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
