okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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