there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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