Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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