You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
