they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
