That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
