Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
