Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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