I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
