is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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