apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
