Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
