hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
