OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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