Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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