The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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