fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
