Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
two words: eviction party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
