This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
