So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
