i just had sex bonerless
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
we should paint friendship bongs
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