Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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