its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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