You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
