hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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