We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize