make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
