I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
