One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
