one might say we're banned from that church
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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