If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
