areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
