Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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