So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize