The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
