we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
