Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
